Wallpaper
by tetsuhiro
Summary: Picture Day on the Sleipnir? Cain is determined to make the best of a shitty situation.


**COI Atlas**

Re: RE: Cook, David Commander FedAlliance (SF:N)

Subject: Crew File Update (UNCLASSIFIED)

Those files are due in 3 days, Atlas. Get it done.

\- CDR Cook

* * *

The Navigators went first, naturally. Their various projects and general upkeep of the ships systems took precedence to whatever training the Fighters had scheduled. As it was, Base Command requires ALL Alliance personnel to have an updated file every time they upgrade security systems. Which meant individual verification of age, race, rank, etc. Unfortunately it also meant providing recent photos of each and every crew member. Time consuming? Definitely. Unnecessary? Probably. Now, if only someone had had the foresight to perhaps provide separate formation times for the Fighters and Navigators, the process probably would have gone a whole lot smoother.

"DAMN baby you got some sweet lips! How 'bout after this you come over and-"

"Knock it OFF, Fighter!"

The various snickering of the dark clad men only made poor Ethos even redder in the face. Try as he might to wrestle his facial expression back into something half decent, his trembling mouth and downcast eyes could not make it so.

*Flash*

"Next!"

Ethos' head shot back up.

"W-wait I wasn't ready! Please let me do it again!" He cried. Who KNOWS what his face looked like now!

Sleipnir's Data Coordinator did not seem to hear him as he continued typing away and uploading the picture to the correct file. Ethos scooted ungracefully off the dingy provided stool and took a single step towards the stand-in photographer.

"What's taking so goddamn long!? Get out of the way, moron!" Phobos sneered as he shoved the skittish Navigator of to the side. "Some of us actually have important things we need to get back to; nobody cares about your stupid face."

"Don't be such a dick, Phobos! And who said you can just cut the rest of the line?" shouted an indignant Abel, who was waiting near the back of the Navigator line.

"Aww, you gonna tell on me Abel?" Phobos purred as he primly sat on the stool and looked ahead; smirk from his retort still present on his face as the camera went off. Abel rolled his eyes dramatically and resumed the exchange he had going with another fellow Nav. Ethos having already slipped out of the large room.

"C'mon babe I know your mouth can stretch wider than that."

"Shut the fuck up Fighter!"

This time the crowd of Fighters burst into loud guffaws as the single MP again tried to keep their lewd comments to a minimum without success. Meanwhile Phobos looked nearly as disgusted as he sauntered past the masses huffing out a quick "In your dreams" under his breath. And so it went on in much the same way for an hour or so, Navigators attempting to keep their cool while under fire from the filthy catcalls of their dark counterparts long enough to get a simple photo taken. Granted it was a photo taken by the ship's moodiest occupant and said photo having a permanent place in their military records. Still, the Fighters never seemed to run out of things to shout at the Navi's expense. At least until it came to be Abel's turn.

Cain had been busy watching Abel closely from his spot in the line. Mostly because he wanted to make sure his partner wasn't getting too buddy-buddy with "some twink ass Navigator" while he was hidden from sight. Nevertheless, Cain had been occasionally laughing along with his comrades and chatting with Deimos about stupid things here and there. Deimos mostly just nodding and adding nothing to the conversation as always. The noise of the room had significantly lessened, and Abel took his seat and was now facing the camera.

Everyone knew. It was a not-so-unspoken rule that so much as looking at the blonde would get you a first class ticket to the infirmary, courtesy of Cain and/or Deimos themselves. It was a known taboo, and it seemed that the Fighter majority had rushed to behave themselves. Cain watched from afar as Abel let his scarred lips rise into a modest smile. Nice. Fake, but still nice. He felt his nose tingle a bit and...

" Ah- ACHOO! "

Cain's vision blurred slightly as an unexpected sneeze erupted from his core. Unfortunately for him, it seemed that was not all that had escaped his body.

"Dude, did you just fucking shit yourself?"

"Goddamn Cain you'd just rip ass right where we gotta stand?"

"Fuck it stinks."

"What did you eat, man?"

The incredulous remarks came fast and from all directions, even Deimos holding a hand over his mouth while the room exploded with uncontrolled laughter. Cain felt his cheeks involuntarily redden as he slowly came to the realization that he just fucking farted while letting out a sneeze while the room was dead ass silent and Abel was right there and-

"Abel."

Despite his mortification, his gaze rapidly tried to find Abel's and to his added horror, found that Abel had his dark eyes squeezed shut as he was laughing the hardest Cain had ever seen him. His thin arms were wrapped around his own abdomen as if in physical pain. Laughing with what looked like no attempt to hold anything back. Seeming to sense that Cain was looking at him, Abel had struggled to wrench his eyes open in order to catch his eye.

*Flash*

Atlas let out an annoyed grunt. "You are done here Navigator. Next!"

The room was far from done, however. Different ballsy Fighters shoving Cain's shoulder good-naturedly and still letting out chuckles. Cain not knowing if he wanted to commit suicide or genocide. When he sees his Navigator walking past his spot in the line, the look Abel had on his face was a brand of levity that Cain had not seen since they signed up for this crazy mission. Eyes bright, cheeks flushed and ridiculous grin decorated his smooth features. Cain watched as Abel continued to strut by and off through the exit, unsurprisingly leaving him to his fate. What a bitch. Cute as fuck smile though.

"Get the fuck off me." Cain snarled. He shoved the closest Fighter away from him as he separated himself from the line. There was one thing that needed to be done. The Fighters for the most part just shrugged and resumed their previous boisterous conversations. Walking with purpose, Cain marched right up to the Coordinator with a single goal in mind.

"I need that picture." Cain demanded.

Atlas had just finished uploading Abel's photo into his respective data file, intent on finishing up the handful of Navigators left so he can finally sort through the catastrophe that was a Fighter profile. He turned to the man looming over him.

"I am not obligated nor authorized to provide you with personal data, Fighter. Get back in line or I call the MP over." He ground out. Swirling back to his computer and switching the camera on for the meek Navigator currently sitting in the stool. Cain gritted his teeth at the scowling man, not one to ever back down from something he wanted. He got in closer, clearly reveling in the fact that he loomed over the Earthling sitting down.

"Look asshole, you send that pic to my tablet and I leave now, or I can screw up that freckled face of yours and do it myself while you bleed out. How fast do you think that MP can get over here? I'm thinkin' I have at least 15 seconds."

"You people are so predictable..."

"Is that a yes or no, babe?" Cain cockily cracked his knuckles.

"Don't! Just…give me your tablet ID number and get in the chair. I want you out of this room as soon as possible."

"Throwing in front of the line tix just for me huh? I must be your wet dream come true."

* * *

It wasn't until the next day when Abel had come out from the shower to see his partner shoving his Fighter tablet under the pillow, trying to seem casual as he takes a drag from the cigarette that hung from his mouth. Abel let out a sigh.

"Cain I told you I don't _care_ if you look at porn." Turning away to find his ever-elusive underwear.

"Hmm does that mean you'll finally watch some with me, Princess? This chicks' got some perky tits that barely fit in her bikini and-"

"You're so disgusting Cain oh my god." Abel interrupted exasperatedly. Knowing good and well that Cain had never even been with a women and just said these things to get under his skin. His Fighter had closed his eyes and seemed to relax further into the bed, making no move to pull out the tablet. Whatever. Uniform almost buttoned and ready to go, he leaned in close to Cain's ear.

"Just promise me that one day we'll make our own." He whispered and quickly left to go work on the Reliant's configuration yet again. Cain just smirked at how cheeky his Navigator had become, but couldn't deny that he felt heat rush through him at the thought of Abel actually letting him film themselves having sex. Definitely worth following up. But for now.

Reaching back under the pillow he turned his tablet back on. He'd received the message not 10 minutes ago. The Coordinator had taken his time actually sending out what he wanted. Cain was looking though his settings for a few moments more before he found the right one. Aha. After a few swipes and a frustrating crop system. It was done.

Swiping back to the main dashboard of his tablet. A clear image of a broadly smiling blonde could be seen behind various apps and notifications.

"Now to just set a password for this fuckin' thing."


End file.
